Where’s the Beef?

“Beef versus Rice”
Civilization versus Lice

“They need to be eating U.S. beef. It’s good for them.
They’ll like it. And so we’re working hard to get that beef market opened up.”
                George Bush,  NY Times, May 25, 2007

No more mad cows in America
No hoof disease or dirty dreams
Just pure beef from U.S. cows
For the New Chinese
Something a billion yellow folks need to eat
Instead of all that damned soft rice.

Why, you can stir-fry American beef
Chinese-style with ginger, scallions
and Szechuan chiles
Or, have fast-food burger patties
with a tweak of soya sauce or MSG.

America’s a flexible, friendly nation
A truly cow-eating un-cowardly nation
We got past white rice and yellow lice
Centuries ago, when we dumped
That China Tea into Boston Harbor.

Open your mouth, Chinee Boy and Chinee Girl:
Eat American beef is good for you:
Stronger teeth, longer tongue, taller bones,
Wider back, bigger brain.

You might even end up Chinese/American
Best of the East and Best of the West
No secret to the Model Minority:

Open Your Mouth and Swallow the Beef
All you Hungry & Dispossessed
Don’t you Cower anymore
Just eat the damned Cow.

Russell C. Leong
Adjunct Professor
UCLA Department of English
& Department of Asian American Studies
Editor, Amerasia Journal

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